If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…

… then at least say it differently.

The Chaps do admit to a continuing love affair with language —

“a continuing love affair with language;the sound of their own voices” — fixed that for you, you’re welcome

Have it your own way. Couple that with a love of the pithy insult — yes, this definitely reflects our feelings.

and you’ll understand how our interest was piqued by a recent tweet from The Canary. Apart from being rude enough to call the UK Foreign Secretary ‘a bag of gas

No argument from this quarter

and illustrating it thusly

it prompted one David Simon (he of “The Wire“) to retweet with a most delightful addition — a preamble describing Boris as a “Low-bottom taintsniff.” Witness a literary lion in action! We love it.

The Other Chap may perhaps recall a gift of a wall chart of Shakespearian insults?

itself giving rise to a rather nice mug.

Perhaps we should offer it as some sort of prize for something?

We did. I won.

A Different Kind of Pizzagate

The Future of Pizza Ordering According To Cambridge Analytica. Is this in our ‘not too distant’ future?

Picture the scenario – the other chap is now working at a well known Pizza company…..

“Hello! Is this Gordon’s Pizza?”

“No sir – it’s Google Pizza.”

“I must have dialed a wrong number.  Sorry.”

“No sir – Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.”

“OK.  I would like to order a pizza.”

“Do you want your usual, sir?”

“My usual – you know me?”

“According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses – sausage – pepperoni – mushrooms and meat balls on a thick crust.”

“OK – that’s what I want.”

“May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta – arugula – sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat, gluten free, thin crust?”

“What?  I detest vegetables.”

“Your cholesterol is not good, sir.”

“How the hell do you know?”

“Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.”

“Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!   I already take medication for my cholesterol.”

“Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drugsale Network, 4 months ago.”

“I bought more from another drugstore.”

“That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.”

“I paid in cash.”

“But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.”

“I have other sources of cash.”

“That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.”

“WHAT THE HELL? ! ! ! !”

“I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.”

“Enough already!  I’m sick to death of Google – Facebook – Twitter – WhatsApp and all the others!!   I’m going to an island without internet – cable TV – where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me !!”

“I understand sir – but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago!”

Rudderless – That’s The Leadership In The UK

As we observed yesterday, both Nature and Beer Glasses abhor vacuums … so too with leadership.

Given that Nigel Farage is this country’s de facto prime minister – pulling the strings of a weak and directionless prime minister.

We’re doomed I tell you. Doomed ….

Read All About It.

Why is that all these kind of people (both in the UK and the US) look gormless, demonic or clueless ….

… if not all three.

Tip-toeing Through The Terminology

The Irish writer Flann O’Brien created two characters, Keats and Chapman, who popped up time and again with an insane willingness to do anything for a clever pun or wordplay. The more tortuous the better. So it was that they got into a discussion on eugenics, with one noting that the topic had batted around since the 19th century or earlier, with no-one willing to really grasp the nettle and incorporate it into social-political theory. In fact, said Keats, he’d seen the most useful practical application made by a horse-breeder he knew, who raised excellent stock using pure eugenics principles.

Foals rushed in where Engels feared to tread.

noted Chapman

There’s no doubt that the author has great comic talent, but he seems unable to resist ending a good tale with a bad joke.

The story of at least one Chap’s life.

Sounds like Keats and Chapman might have been the original chaps?

Well, they do have their own bookshop … maybe something to aspire to ?

What’s a bookshop, Dad ?

The Fragility Of Modernity

Not this chaps words – but definitely his sentiments …

We hugely underestimate the utter fragility of modernity.

Many times in history, we’ve turned the clock back to a much tougher & rougher past.

For centuries after Rome fell, Europeans couldn’t even dream of things like hot piped water, luxurious baths & central heating.

Via Dave Winer – Scripting News

Click through to read the full storm … then file in ‘why didn’t we see it coming’ : Farooq Butt on Twitter

Continue reading “The Fragility Of Modernity”

A Typical Dialogue

… that the chaps oft’ find themselves in …

… and you complain about YOUR problems.


This chap spotted the new Panton Color Of The Year

We’re switching to Ebonics as default?

Que?

Not a bad thing, tho : click through.

Well, the eye candy is fine – but I believe they are paid for the sound – my assumption is that they paid the venue to appear.

Perhaps you were thinking of this Ultra Violet


about which Rotten Tomatoes was pleased to say

An incomprehensible and forgettable sci-fi thriller, Ultraviolet is inept in every regard.

tho personally I prefer this one.


but perhaps more typical in this shot


Funnily enough .. no … I wasn’t …. we obviously operate in different circles ..

Anyone else lost?

Me…

Heh – I thought you said you plan these things out.

… we do – what’s the issue?

Seems a little chaotic from where I sit.

You should try sitting where I sit.

Oh .. sorry .. didn’t know you were still here.

Well, that explains a lot – I thought I was here.

Orange.

Sometimes

The Chaps Do Wonder If Their English Abilities Are Up To It

Have no fear, of course they are ..

sotomayor

I don’t think that … districting for partisan advantage has no positive values. I would point you to, for instance, Justice Breyer’s dissenting opinion in [2004’s Vieth v. Jubelirer] which has an extensive discussion of how it can actually do good things for our system to have districts drawn in a way that makes it easier for voters to understand who … the legislature is. It produces values in terms of accountability that are valuable so that the people understand who isn’t and who is in power.

Erin E. Murphy, the attorney representing Wisconsin’s (very gerrymandered) State Senate

responding to Sotomayer’s question:

“Could you tell me what the value is to democracy from political gerrymandering? How does that help our system of government?”