A Different Kind of Pizzagate

The Future of Pizza Ordering According To Cambridge Analytica. Is this in our ‘not too distant’ future?

Picture the scenario – the other chap is now working at a well known Pizza company…..

“Hello! Is this Gordon’s Pizza?”

“No sir – it’s Google Pizza.”

“I must have dialed a wrong number.  Sorry.”

“No sir – Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.”

“OK.  I would like to order a pizza.”

“Do you want your usual, sir?”

“My usual – you know me?”

“According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses – sausage – pepperoni – mushrooms and meat balls on a thick crust.”

“OK – that’s what I want.”

“May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta – arugula – sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat, gluten free, thin crust?”

“What?  I detest vegetables.”

“Your cholesterol is not good, sir.”

“How the hell do you know?”

“Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.”

“Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!   I already take medication for my cholesterol.”

“Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drugsale Network, 4 months ago.”

“I bought more from another drugstore.”

“That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.”

“I paid in cash.”

“But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.”

“I have other sources of cash.”

“That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.”

“WHAT THE HELL? ! ! ! !”

“I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.”

“Enough already!  I’m sick to death of Google – Facebook – Twitter – WhatsApp and all the others!!   I’m going to an island without internet – cable TV – where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me !!”

“I understand sir – but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago!”

The Chaps, Converse

It isn’t that we share shoes …. more that we interact.

It started as a simple chat about the ukelele as an instrument.

“Simple”? Ha!

Now, no spoilers, please.

But then, somehow, as ever… It was Another Chap that started it all, when he threw this out ..

Jazz, Classical, but ukulele?

Don’t disrespect the ukulele.

and then went right on to share James Hill doing Voodoo Child

Continue reading “The Chaps, Converse”

Speaking of Artisanal Obsession …

Enthusiasm is one thing …

… but not everything.

There is a, er, downside to going too far. Here’s one graphic artist who might like to rethink it — if it’s not too late …

too late, somethings just can’t be unseen …

Going with a similar theme …

… of course you are …

But the real downside of these obsessions may be the (apparently-unstoppable) process they herald  — one all too familiar to residents (often former residents) of London, Seattle, San Francisco…

This Chap, for one, can’t be arsed with artisanal cheeses, cereal and the like. Just give us livable neighborhoods.

Sorry, re the cereal … anywhere “offering a cornucopia” of anything needs to be derided.

Obsessed, Part II: Trains

The Story So Far:

In Part I, Graham picked up a scent of obsessions in rock music and got on the trail… It started with words, but he stumbled over something bigger.

He really should pay more attention to where he’s going.

I didn’t know where I was going, at the time.

Well, there you are then.

If you’re quite finished…

Heh! It’s your train of thought!

See what I did there?

A question for our readers: Which came first — “travelling by train” as a theme in popular music, or actually travelling by train? Continue reading “Obsessed, Part II: Trains”

In Our Defense

Graham was involved with an artist …

Raymond Hitchcock: Lovers in the Poppyfields (1955)

… and it seemed like fun at the time. However, the lady had patterns (!). Her creativity (lost-) waxed and waned with the moon, or the tides, or (not putting too fine a point on it) her menstrual state.  The Chap somehow turned, during such seasons, from Adonis to Bluebeard. Partner artist’s manic creativity spiked high at those times, and for a Chap with survival in mind, rapid and adequate (even excessive) provision of the apparent creative necessaries — pencils, fabric, printing ink, et al. became a paramount issue. (Think 2 a.m. ice cream and pickles, for those inclined to procreation.) It worked, in its own way, and this chap had a fairly peaceful and happy life for a while.

So in later years, Continue reading “In Our Defense”

Meat and Right

When this Chap were a Lad …

… or a Tyke (aye, it wor’ a while ago), meat were properly cooked, ‘appen. (The reader will no doubt aim off for the accent, at this stage.) Even at the best dining establishments in Great Yarmouth — dwell on that, for a moment — a trace of reddish fluid on the plate was cause to send the dish back for proper cooking.

Leaving home engendered the odd change, in eating as elsewhere, and for the last couple of decades — OK, few decades — it has never occurred to the Chap that meat outside of stew should be cooked other than rare. But equally, it has never occurred to him that the state of one’s meat equated in any way to the state of ones masculinity. (Although the act of eating meat is an old indicator of red-in-tooth-and-claw masculinity.) Other males and genders were perfectly free to make their own choices, right or wrong.

But now, all of a sudden, Continue reading “Meat and Right”