If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…

… then at least say it differently.

The Chaps do admit to a continuing love affair with language —

“a continuing love affair with language;the sound of their own voices” — fixed that for you, you’re welcome

Have it your own way. Couple that with a love of the pithy insult — yes, this definitely reflects our feelings.

and you’ll understand how our interest was piqued by a recent tweet from The Canary. Apart from being rude enough to call the UK Foreign Secretary ‘a bag of gas

No argument from this quarter

and illustrating it thusly

it prompted one David Simon (he of “The Wire“) to retweet with a most delightful addition — a preamble describing Boris as a “Low-bottom taintsniff.” Witness a literary lion in action! We love it.

The Other Chap may perhaps recall a gift of a wall chart of Shakespearian insults?

itself giving rise to a rather nice mug.

Perhaps we should offer it as some sort of prize for something?

We did. I won.

A Different Kind of Pizzagate

The Future of Pizza Ordering According To Cambridge Analytica. Is this in our ‘not too distant’ future?

Picture the scenario – the other chap is now working at a well known Pizza company…..

“Hello! Is this Gordon’s Pizza?”

“No sir – it’s Google Pizza.”

“I must have dialed a wrong number.  Sorry.”

“No sir – Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.”

“OK.  I would like to order a pizza.”

“Do you want your usual, sir?”

“My usual – you know me?”

“According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses – sausage – pepperoni – mushrooms and meat balls on a thick crust.”

“OK – that’s what I want.”

“May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta – arugula – sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat, gluten free, thin crust?”

“What?  I detest vegetables.”

“Your cholesterol is not good, sir.”

“How the hell do you know?”

“Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.”

“Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!   I already take medication for my cholesterol.”

“Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drugsale Network, 4 months ago.”

“I bought more from another drugstore.”

“That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.”

“I paid in cash.”

“But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.”

“I have other sources of cash.”

“That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.”

“WHAT THE HELL? ! ! ! !”

“I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.”

“Enough already!  I’m sick to death of Google – Facebook – Twitter – WhatsApp and all the others!!   I’m going to an island without internet – cable TV – where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me !!”

“I understand sir – but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago!”

Web Mentions

… now what you might ask are those?

Well, suffice to say that if this little ballydoo works, this chap will pop back here and try to explain it all. Suffice to say, it all started here. Let’s see if you can come up with an explanation before I return.

Barry, Not Phyllis

I don’t think Barry Diller is any relative of Phyllis … but you never know.

That said, I did think this was an interesting read.

It’s interesting how much about people can slide by, even if you are paying attention.

For example, I did not know that he was married to Diane von Furstenberg and hangs out with Josh Kushner (important … NOT Jared) – that he cloned his dogs and so started a ‘trend’.

Maybe ‘trend’ is the wrong word … doesn’t that imply that ‘everyone’ is doing it?

I do like that he and Geffen met as teenagers in the William Morris mailroom in Los Angeles, we even agree on movies …

Calling “Red Sparrow” “awful” and “The Shape of Water” “beautiful but silly,” he says he wouldn’t want to run a movie studio now.

… and there’s a lot more. Go take a read. You won’t be disappointed.

Redundancy

Apparently the other chap has a friend in town who has brought with him his ‘mini uke’. This chap was just wondering if the ‘mini’ is redundant?

I’ll see your mini-uk and raise you a ‘biggun.

🎵 Pete Frame

Read all about him on Wikipedia or – pop over to his web site

I had two of his books a long time ago. Long gone / misplaced / lost. But, if you are interested in the music of the 60s and 70s, the books and trees inside contain a veritable cornucopia of visual information relating to the music of the day.

I have often thought that it would be interesting to see something similar done for the software industry – again starting in those heady days and how companies were gobbled up, grew, where the founders went to etc … I think the results would be fascinating.

Continue reading “🎵 Pete Frame”

If Trump Wants A Grand Parade…

Then a grand parade, by golly, he should have.

Of course, in a version suitably sized to the attendance at his inauguration, and tailored to both his musical taste and knowledge of military technology. The Chaps are happy to offer a preview.

So, a grand-ish parade, then.

At best…

No, no need to thank us. Our pleasure.

You can read the original story here.

Did you note the marching on that Naval chief?

Certainly did. Cadet Bone Spurs could probably do as well.

Well, if it were not for him being who he is…